Friday, June 20, 2008

Miau Miau, Field of Catz-ah!

Miau Miau, Field of Cats-ah!
I enjoy Stereo Total a hell of a lot for not being able to understand the vast majority of their lyrics. Although I am of German descent, my communication abilities are limited to English, Spanish and a random ASL signs (and the alphabet). None of this helps figure out what Stereo Total means when they sing "Miau miau wilde Katze." C'est la vie.

I hate losing touch with people. It sucks. And I'm especially good at it, it seems, which sucks even more. And I worry that I've changed too much or not enough in the interim. A couple of friends have theorized that if the you from 5 years ago would hate the today version of you then you're probably doing something right (did you follow that? sorry!). I don't know if I agree. I think maybe me five years ago would be puzzled by some of my choices and I'd certainly have some advice to dispense to younger-me but I think we'd get on pretty well for the most part. And I think that's a good thing overall.

I think maybe it's better not to regret too much. Everyone screws up and you'd learn very little by making the "right" choice all the time. I love playing "what if..." but at the end of the day it's your little red wagon, and you've got to pull it (as ani difranco might say). Which is to say that I was always going to fuck up certain things and I try to just accept that. I think it's important to act as though you have free will but I also think that given a set of circumstances you're pretty much always fated to make the same decision given your character and experiences.


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