Sportz Night

Ok, seriously SERIOUSLY (?!)

I generally feel kind of miserly when I tell people about the (no longer cute) neighbor's Sportz Nights. I can never convey my true disdain because most people like sports of some sort and to those people, Sportz Night is tailgating 101. Essentially there's a lot of grilling, beer drinking and theoretical game watching. I can't explain why I want to rain on their parade, but I do. Maybe because I'm not-so-secretly a bitch. Because when I complain about Sportz Night I'm kidding-but not really.

As a non-sports enthusiast, Sportz Night sucks. It's always loud and sort of awkward because our dining room windows look out into the space between apartments where they grill and also their dining room windows (side note, neither room seems to be used much for actual dining). Thus walking around in my apartment makes me feel like an animal on display in a zoo. And, since I'm judging them (that's right!) I get sort of paranoid that they are judging me, too.

Mostly I hate Sportz Night because of the beanbag game the neighbors play. I do not understand the beanbag game and I do not want to. In and of itself it's actually pretty innocuous looking:



The object of the game appears to be tossing the beanbag into the hole in the ramp. If there's more to it, I don't actually care.

The issue is more of what the game represents than what it is. Specifically, it means we live next to ex-frat members. I remember walking down Langdon St. in Madison on game day (aka Sportz Night) and all the frats would have this set up on the sidewalk. Thus it will forever be negatively associated with meatheads, sports fanatics and the smell of sloppy drunken assholes who yell in your face for no reason as you try to navigate past them. It's one of the few things I don't miss about college. And I kind of thought I'd escaped all of that.

But now it's 1:35 A.M. and Sportz Night, which is almost always an afternoon activity, is in full swing.

Beanbag games after midnight-seriously?!